This is it!

No, not the terrible Micheal Jackson film! I think I have succeeded in finding the epitome of stupidity!

Now this wont mean we'll stop, oh no, we will never stop berating the idiots of the web, but this IS a milestone.

The 5 pillower. Observe.






Now you are going to want to click on that to see it's full glory. It was submitted by an "anonymous" poster, with good reason.
The idiot is asking if midgets have night vision.

Let it sink in. That's right.
Not only that but he has rung up a midget to as him! and now he's surprised he has an angry short person after him. You can bet that he'll be sleeping with the lights on so the other guy doesn't have an advantage.

So anonymous, or Anon to your friends, you are the proud reciever of our highest prize here at HAYA: five pillows, Charles Darwin's choice.






This is Joe Strange cleansing the gene pool one at a time.

Triple Kill.

Well, sorry for the lack of update, those following my other blogs will know the reasons, but anyway onwards.

As much as I would LOVE to write a stupidity blog on the ability to read time (or inability if you're my mother) I wont. What I will do however is a slightly different approach to HAYA, one which I like to call "Ask A Stupid Question...".

So, you know that most of our entries come from "Yahoo Answers" and while not all the questions are ridiculous, some of the titles for them are downright idiotic.

So here are three (along with a quick caption to each) stupid questions that I've found, along with the relevant HAYASS Scale.





HMM I'm going to go out there and say... 14 pieces of string?

Ronseal Smother: 4 Pillows









Because Anti-Baby Doesn't have the same ring to it. Think before we use our words next time.

Hindsight Smother: 3 Pillows









LUCKILY water doesn't run on electricity.

Common Sense Smother: 4 Pillows.





Joe with a ruthless entry for a ruthless mood, now for a ruthless exit.

I need more ruth's

There's A Difference...

I've now found proof that there is a vast difference between loving something, and knowing about the same.

You see, If i plan on being "into" something I'll research, I'll try and learn all there is to know, because if you love something, you should know stuff about it. this is the same reason you should know whether your girlfriend is allergic to peanuts. Apparently this isn't true for everyone, as can be seen in today's HAYA entry from "Happy new years to all dog lovers":

As you can see, this guy wants to know if swallowing hair can be dangerous to your health. now, hair is everywhere, which to me should be common knowledge, it falls off and lands places; places where your face might be, therefore you WILL swallow hair. It will and does happen all the time. Unless this guy's dog has a hideous skin/hair disorder, I'm thinking, leprosy or gangrene, he's going to be absolutely fine. Unless I get to him first. I wont even start on the fact he's biting his dog.

2 pillows; a Humane suffocation






Joe; off for some more idiot hunting.

I see a theme occurring...

Yesterday I was searching through the many failings that appear in Yahoo Answers, our muse for this blog. Whilst there are many dumb questions found there, it is the gems that we highlight here.

So without further ado, here is the recent question put forward to the internet that reiterates my dumbfoundness that these people haven't killed themselves via everyday tasks.

And it is another stupid question about animals (well this time it's an insect).



Firstly, "Has a spider ever killed [anyone]". Um, let’s see, oh yes they have you moron! Have you not heard about spiders’ venom? Let’s just hope this person never visits a rainforest or a desert, or do I?

Secondly, "[has a spider] eaten a human being?" You actually had to ask this? What films have you been watching to delude you to the point of asking this question? Admittedly a very large group of spiders probably could, but a single spider?

But you don't stop there, no you have to make an even bigger fool of yourself and ask "are some spiders big enough to catch a human in their webs?" How big do you think they get? The biggest spider is the size of a dinne plate! Not bigger than a human! My god! Also whilst it is not impossible for a web to be a considerable size, any human has the strength to pull one apart you brainless idiot! I may be lacking in the strength department, but even I can escape a spiders web!

So it is with this that I introduce my own scale of stupidity that will be used in all of my posts on this blog. Whilst Joe has gone with the "How Are You Alive Suffocation Scale" (HAYASS), I have decided to go with the "How Are You Alive Scale of a Bus Running Over You (HAYASBROY). I know, it's the catchiest phrase you have ever heard!

3 Buses, Likely to happen



James face palming for society...

Poison Darts

Hey there!
Welcome to my first proper post. Here it is.











First of all I'd like to say this was the image that inspired me to make this blog, and secondly, this person is the first person to score on the
"How Are You Alive Suffocation Scale" (HAYASS) Where I rank the victim on a scale of one to five on how badly I think they shouldn't be allowed to breathe. Depicted by the use of Pillows. So soft and cuddly but deadly to sleepers.

Here we have someone clearly confusing Pokemon for fact (can we say Poison Sting?) and also, "are they dangerous to humans?" The clue's in the name, Yes. Poisonous generally means stay away.
Makes me sort of hope the reasons she's asking the internet is because of a group of Dart frogs at her door.

3 Pillows, A Slight Smothering.







Strange Is Oscar Mike.

Welcome.

Welcome to "How Are you alive" a blog "celebrating" the idiocracy of the internet. I am Joe Strange, also helping me write this will be my friend James Sweeting, whom you shall be hearing from soon.

The idea of this blog is simple, since James and I are both elitist know it alls, we felt it was time to tear to pieces some of the more intellectually challenged members of this giant community, we will be taking posts from various websites and hopefully outlining just why these people are so very, very dumb.

Keep an eye out for the next "proper post"

Joe Strange