America really needs to teach its children when it comes to history!

My last post was about America's role in World War 2. This post is about Hitler's role in WW2. Now surely you would think everyone would know what Hitler's role was in WW2. Sure Neo-Nazi's would describe his actions differently,but their skewed version of history will have some relation to historical fact. The main thing being that Hitler was the "fuhrer" of Germany, in which the expansion to the German Empire was his aim of achieving the Third Reich of Germany. However this person has no idea!



I am simply dumbfounded that people do not know what Hitler's role was? I assume they don't know much else about him! All those Jews much be turning in their mass graves!!

*Black humour yes, but this idiot wouldn't get it!!*

No need for an inverted scale this time:

3 Buses, Likely to Happen (Please, or at least read a history book!)



James, now hitting himself with his increasingly loved history book!

It's Treacherously Close

Ok so this entry was taken from an actual facebook update from my own facebook, the names have been disguised (well) and so has the poster's face (not so well) this just shows that stupidity is never too far away.

So, as you can see this is an apology from someone (whom I know) about not turning up to college that particular day. this was posted in the evening, and she was away during that day. Take note children. She says "...apology in advance for not telling you I wasn't in today" While the grammar is very lovely and legible (obviously my company has rubbed off on her) this phrase makes NO SENSE.

An apology in advance for something she's already done... now an apology can only be issued in advance if the event you are apologising for has not yet happen like; "I apologise in advance for swearing... Fucking hell!" whereas this girl has already not gone to school. which leads me to believe that she has a warped sense of time, and has little to no chance of surviving in the real world due to the fact the real world will not tolerate this laissez-faire attitude to it's most important continuum and for that I award 3 pillows, an untimely suffocation.






This is Joe apologising in advance for that hideous post.

I'm sorry, what?!

This is likely to be one of the more elitist posts that will be uploaded here for the time being, but for someone who enjoys history, reading and discussing, this just makes me die a little inside.



Essentially what this imbecile is asking is when did the United States of America attack the French during either of the World Wars. Now I have I question for this person, where the HELL did the idea that the French were attacked by the US?? Sure we all hate the French in some form or another, but never enough to attack them. Besides who saved them from the Germans, the allies! Although mostly us Brits, the yanks were still scratching their heads wondering how else to prevent minorities from living a normal life, instead of backing us up! So I shall reitterate, France attacked by Germany, US eventually helped to back them up/liberate them.

So now for the rating. For this post I am introducing a dual rating. This is where technically it isn't the stupidest thing someone could ask/do, however in my opinion it is borderline retarded.

As this person is American and like most have very little concept of history, hence it seems to repeat itself over there, the dual rating is justified.

2 Buses, a broken leg.


Personal Opinion:
4 Buses, Intensive Care.


James; off to read another history book to support his own self-righteousness.

There's A Difference...

I've now found proof that there is a vast difference between loving something, and knowing about the same.

You see, If i plan on being "into" something I'll research, I'll try and learn all there is to know, because if you love something, you should know stuff about it. this is the same reason you should know whether your girlfriend is allergic to peanuts. Apparently this isn't true for everyone, as can be seen in today's HAYA entry from "Happy new years to all dog lovers":

As you can see, this guy wants to know if swallowing hair can be dangerous to your health. now, hair is everywhere, which to me should be common knowledge, it falls off and lands places; places where your face might be, therefore you WILL swallow hair. It will and does happen all the time. Unless this guy's dog has a hideous skin/hair disorder, I'm thinking, leprosy or gangrene, he's going to be absolutely fine. Unless I get to him first. I wont even start on the fact he's biting his dog.

2 pillows; a Humane suffocation






Joe; off for some more idiot hunting.

I see a theme occurring...

Yesterday I was searching through the many failings that appear in Yahoo Answers, our muse for this blog. Whilst there are many dumb questions found there, it is the gems that we highlight here.

So without further ado, here is the recent question put forward to the internet that reiterates my dumbfoundness that these people haven't killed themselves via everyday tasks.

And it is another stupid question about animals (well this time it's an insect).



Firstly, "Has a spider ever killed [anyone]". Um, let’s see, oh yes they have you moron! Have you not heard about spiders’ venom? Let’s just hope this person never visits a rainforest or a desert, or do I?

Secondly, "[has a spider] eaten a human being?" You actually had to ask this? What films have you been watching to delude you to the point of asking this question? Admittedly a very large group of spiders probably could, but a single spider?

But you don't stop there, no you have to make an even bigger fool of yourself and ask "are some spiders big enough to catch a human in their webs?" How big do you think they get? The biggest spider is the size of a dinne plate! Not bigger than a human! My god! Also whilst it is not impossible for a web to be a considerable size, any human has the strength to pull one apart you brainless idiot! I may be lacking in the strength department, but even I can escape a spiders web!

So it is with this that I introduce my own scale of stupidity that will be used in all of my posts on this blog. Whilst Joe has gone with the "How Are You Alive Suffocation Scale" (HAYASS), I have decided to go with the "How Are You Alive Scale of a Bus Running Over You (HAYASBROY). I know, it's the catchiest phrase you have ever heard!

3 Buses, Likely to happen



James face palming for society...

Poison Darts

Hey there!
Welcome to my first proper post. Here it is.











First of all I'd like to say this was the image that inspired me to make this blog, and secondly, this person is the first person to score on the
"How Are You Alive Suffocation Scale" (HAYASS) Where I rank the victim on a scale of one to five on how badly I think they shouldn't be allowed to breathe. Depicted by the use of Pillows. So soft and cuddly but deadly to sleepers.

Here we have someone clearly confusing Pokemon for fact (can we say Poison Sting?) and also, "are they dangerous to humans?" The clue's in the name, Yes. Poisonous generally means stay away.
Makes me sort of hope the reasons she's asking the internet is because of a group of Dart frogs at her door.

3 Pillows, A Slight Smothering.







Strange Is Oscar Mike.

Time for the first 'real' post

As this blog acts a collection of what can ultimately be described as people failing at life, here is something from the source of fail.


Source

Whilst this entry was found at the Fail Blog, expect to find many more from Yahoo answers, as people seem to think that the internet is the place to find answers to their idiotic questions.

James signing out...

Welcome.

Welcome to "How Are you alive" a blog "celebrating" the idiocracy of the internet. I am Joe Strange, also helping me write this will be my friend James Sweeting, whom you shall be hearing from soon.

The idea of this blog is simple, since James and I are both elitist know it alls, we felt it was time to tear to pieces some of the more intellectually challenged members of this giant community, we will be taking posts from various websites and hopefully outlining just why these people are so very, very dumb.

Keep an eye out for the next "proper post"

Joe Strange